Great Expectations

"If you expect nothing from anybody, you're never disappointed."

If I was able to actually follow this mantra, I would not be attempting my first blog post right now. As a twenty-something, confusion is nothing out of the ordinary. You choose a career path, you change your career path, you feel like you have no career path. You lose some old friends, you gain new ones. You get your heart broken, but you also break some hearts. Nothing in this decade of our lives is more important than experience. Experience is a brutal teacher, but you learn. I am a twenty-something former singer/actor turned fashion junkie, now redoing her entire undergrad in Fashion Communications. Oh and I like to party. Need I say more?

Part of expecting things out of myself is believing. I for one, am a believer and dreamer. I tend to live by delusions of grandeur (hence the title of my blog). However, the difficult part of delusions is that they tend to live in your head more so than in reality. To my credit, several of my "delusions" have come true in my life...landing my first internship with a name as big as Michael Kors, somehow saving up enough money to support my perpetual desire for couture, studying in a program I thoroughly enjoy (at most hours) that I will be good at, being able to hop on a plane to NYC every 2-3 months whether it's to party, eat, or simply runaway, travelling to Europe, Asia, and Australia/New Zealand on several occasions. With such luck in having these goals achieved thus far, I can only continue to dream.

I don't only believe in my nonsensical (at times) self. I believe in the people around me too. That's where my other expectations come into play. I'd be lying if I said I didn't have expectations of my friends and family. Respect, honesty, integrity, character...those are a given. But sometimes I vouch for more because I am a believer. I can see past what meets the eye and how much another person can accomplish, whether or not they can see it for themselves. When it comes down to it, I would do anything for the ones I love.

My expectations attribute to the fact that I can withstand an unusually high amount of emotional stress. The problem with highly emotional girls is that we justify things in our heads that seem ridiculously irrational to the outside world. I've caused arguments over things that should be dead and gone simply because I am still bothered by it. It's not like it's exactly fun being someone who feels the need to squash every annoyance...I'm working on it. After all, "You can't expect everyone to have the same dedication as you." It's still a journey, but I'm learning to be okay with it.

This was a whole lot of writing for me. I don't consider myself to be a great writer. Sometimes I just can't put down my thoughts onto paper. Speech is a whole other category for me though. I don't mind confrontation. I'm a go-getter. I live fast, stagger on emotional messes, slow down just enough to get it all together and not learn the lessons until I've lived through them. If this post is suppose to be me in a nutshell, let's just say...I'm not crazy. What happens when you don't live up to your great expectations? I'm not sure yet. But I plan on sharing more of my twenty-something stories of wandering epiphanies, both big and small. :)

yours truly,

Melissa.