Falling For Fake Love

My blog turned one a little over a month ago. I've been so caught up with school, traveling, Mass Exodus, and my own crazy shenanigans that I have neglected it. Happy Anniversary Delusions of Grandeur! And what a year have we had. I started this blog as an over-analytical, high-achieving fiery ball of energy driven by intuition and emotion. Granted I'm still that girl, but a year of tweaking and fine-tuning has done yours truly some good. 

The biggest lesson I learned in the past year was surprisingly in the lesson of love. There is a balance and difference between the love of others and a healthy love of self. Thanks to many (failed) television shows, music, and the biggest culprit: romantic comedies, people have fallen for "fake love"; a level of love that doesn't seem to exist anywhere but in the media and inconveniently in our heads. Kill me now, right?

I spent the weekend trying to be productive, all the while having movies that I find almost too unrealistic to be romantic (How to Lose a Guy in 10 Days) on in the background. Who actually behaves that way with someone they are actually starting to like? Followed by a goose chase & love declaration on the George Washington Bridge? Stop. It's getting to the point that unless we start marrying real life princes, no man will ever be able to satisfy us in the romance department. That's the problem with wanting fake love, it's only possible in the movies.

I've never been one to look for fireworks and flowers every time I go on a date. But the slight romantic I can find in myself always gets her hopes raised just the teeniest bit whenever there's a possibility for a surprise to happen. So far I've been met with nothing but disappointment. Realistic love or more so love in the everyday world, just don't seem to be as meaningful unless matched with larger than life actions. However, I have come to realize and accept that everyone loves in their own way. Not everyone cares for huge gestures but that shouldn't be read as them being any less loving. But do not mistaken this for backhanded words. Actions have always and will always speak louder than words. Believe with your eyes, not with your ears.

So what has inspired this post? All my ridiculousness I've gotten myself into, all the mistakes and comebacks I've endured, and all the insane shenanigans I've created is what makes me worship material. I have learned to love my opinionated, sharp-witted, potty-mouthed, risk-taking self more than anything recently. And women like this should not be willing to settle for less than we think we deserve. Fake love, go to hell. I'll take real love any day...even if it is with myself. x

Naked Ambition

Despite all the apocalypse talk that had December 21st, 2012 pegged as the day the world would implode, it seems as though we're all still alive and well...and we've even made it to 2013 (and almost another year older for me!) What world ending theories, year ends and birthdays are good for are evaluating our lives. To live a life with no regrets is a popular saying, but like many ideals in life, that is easier said than done. Life is full of unexpected surprises, and during a time of reflection, it's only human to theorize about all the what ifs of past decisions. I believe in everything for a reason. Where I am in this moment, no matter how troubling or gruesome it may be, is where I'm suppose to be. One step brings you to the next and sooner or later you find yourself moving along with the decisions you've made along the way. However, if the world was going to end (and my world with it), there would be a few things I wish I got around to doing. And so, in the spirit of ringing in 2013 and my soon-to-be birthday, I present to you my motto for this year...Naked Ambition!

Command and Conquer was my motto last year. This was specific to taking control and understanding my own life, allowing positivity into it, and being bolder and fearless when it came to overcoming obstacles. I encountered many experiences that consisted of discovering new areas and seeing the previously unseen with a new perspective and fresh eyes. I learned to be less selfish --  I tend to get caught up so much in my own life that I forget to help and listen to others, who I feel deserve more of my attention than they some times get. Having the very special people in your life who let you run free to make your mistakes but are always there to pick up the pieces helps me remember to take time out of my own shenanigans and see how they are doing. It was a year of risk, power, struggle, and strength, but I left it remembering what I'm worth. And it's a lot.

As longtime readers of this blog would know, my heart belongs in New York City. Knowing that is where I want to end up means I have to work like hell for that privilege. That brings me to this year's motto, Naked Ambition. It's an aspiration to be successful, take pride in my projects, school, and career, and to garner my stance in the fashion world, one cynical fashion bitch at a time. Luckily for me, my mysterious, fiery and impetuous (yet exquisite) nature is my driving passion that will help me take bigger risks and achieve the bigger rewards. Passion is the one thing that we search for our whole lives, whether it be romantic passion, a passion for work, or otherwise. In our twenties, the search for it is intense and on-going and once we find it, it's a race to turn it into something we can forever live withor until another passion comes along. 

Translating passion in ways that are feasible (work) and steady (love) have proved to be something of a struggle. Passion in love was what I was seemingly trying to conquer last year. With love temporarily out of the picture, I'm certain that the path I'm on right now is the right one, and that actively pursuing everything that catches my interest is sure to lead to something real good. Naked Ambition. This is probably more than I know. Stay tuned.

x